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Joke of the Day

"Call your boring friend Simon, ""Sighmon"" he'll never know the difference and you can laugh about it with your cool bros over beers."

"There are two goldfish in a tank One fish turns to the other and says: ""You man the guns, I'll drive""."

"How does a white lady fix a flat tire? She buys a new car."

"When a woman is in labor... When a woman is in labor and the pain is so unbearable, it is the closest she comes to understanding what it is like to be a man with the common cold. :}"

"What is a guy with multi-tasking called? Husband."

"A curious tradition -- to look at a newborn baby and say to yourself, ""Because of your DNA, one day you will rule over me."""

"I'm agnostic. What happens to me when I die? Idk. (I decay)"

"Dr Horrible got a great deal on getting into the Evil League of Evil It only cost him a Penny"

"Why didn't The Cold War happen? Russia kept Stalin it"

"Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!"