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Joke of the Day

"Updating your relationship status in public is fine. Updating your relationship problems in public is stupidity."

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"What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military? A Sweeping Generalization."
"So I found out I have IBS last week... The doctor said I have shitty genes"
"To the rooster goes the spoils.. indeed"
"My wife spiked my dinner with viagra and gave me an epidural. No hard feelings."
"So an Italian light bulb walks into a bar... The light bulb tells the bartender he needs ibuprofen. The bartender asks, ""Why so?"" The light bulb replies, ""I'm a light headed!"""
"What's the difference between ""a choice"" and "" to choose?"" ""A choice"" is a decision you make. ""To choose"" are what Mexicans put on their feet."
"For fun, the next time you have an attractive waitress- Order a ""quickie"" then act surprised when she tells you it's pronounced ""quiche"""
"I think the only girl I know that hasn't said ""you're like a brother to me"" is my sister."
"What is Batman's favorite sport? Baseball."
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