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Joke of the Day

"How do you find out that a blonde girl got a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear, and she is looking for her pencil."

"[in a mosh pit] why is everyone so upset"

"""Put your pants on grandma, you're scaring the reptiles!"" - Me, camping"

"What is Marios favorite type of pants? Denim Denim Denim"

"I was in the attic the other day... ...and I found a Christmas present that I meant to give to my daughter a year ago. It's a shame I forgot about it, she always wanted a puppy."

"Prostate Cancer **;** Edit: *But seriously, cancer isn't funny.*"

"There are two types of guys. Those who eat pussy and those who lie they don't eat pussy."

"Why don't any American football players wear glasses? Because it is a contact sport!"

"Hillary and Huma Hillary Clinton likes Huma Abedin who is married to Anthony Weiner which would make her Huma Weiner. That means that Hillary likes a Weiner which means that she is not gay."

"I used to be indecisive. But now I'm not so sure."