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Joke of the Day

"Don't let them fool you. Squirrels are just rats dressed in Armani."

"How do you blind an Asian? Put a windshield in front of them."

"Why was the skeleton using the Internet? To bone up on his schoolwork."

"I'm so proud of my son I asked him what the sound of one hand clapping is. He said ""dunno"" and walked off to his room, but I can hear him trying to figure it out."

"[Trigger Warning] [Deliberately Offensive Joke] NSFW. I'm irresistible to woman. ... Only because I'm much stronger than them!"

"Stuffs sugar packets into my handbag as I leave the cafe. Sachets away."

"You know, not all Italians are in the mafia. Some are in the Witness Protection Program."

"My wife left me because I kept touching pasta inappropriately... Now I'm feeling cannelloni"

"why shouldn't you fart in church? you'd have to sit in your own pew."

"You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you."