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Joke of the Day

"I envy how comfortable Waldo always seems in large crowds."

"What superheroes refuse to fight in North Carolina? The X-Men"

"The janitor squints at the unfinished equation, picks up the chalk and scrawls methodically. Soon all the eights have top-hats like snowmen."

"What do you call a guard with a hundred legs? A sentrypede."

"I like to ask girls if they wanna take a shower with me then hand them a ski mask and drive to Lowe's."

"Did you hear about the new Voat mobile app? It's called Reddit Was Fun."

"Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark? Black people can't swim."

"I had a debate with myself about masturbation... ... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!"

"Q: What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it? A: a $20 bill"

"- Let's get wasted! - No, I have a good job now, a great woman I love, and it's time to grow up. - ???? - Just kidding, few min lol"