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Joke of the Day

"How many recruits does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the lightbulb and four road guards."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender asks ""Do you want a drink?"" Descartes says ""I think not,"" and *poof*. He's gone."

"Wife: why are you smiling? [realizing if Blue from Blue's Clues and Clifford had puppies they'd be purple] Me: I was thinking about you."

"A prankster draws glasses on all the photos In Lois Lanes family photo album... Lois Lane: ""this is not my family photo album!"""

"WIFE: you forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn't you? ME: [drinking milk from a flower vase] no, why?"

"""So, you're going that way? Cool. Me too."" - Dogs"

"If Earth was a rented apartment, ain't NOOOO WAAAAAY we're getting our security deposit back."

"Did you know lesbians almost never cook for themselves? They prefer eating out."

"What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer? Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail."

"Today is World Alzheimer's Day! Just in case you forgot."