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Joke of the Day
"Mexican Carpet layer. What does a Mexican put under his carpet? Underlay! Underlay!"
Next Joke
"Don't be racist. Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"
"""Well well well if it isn't the guy I'm stalking."" ""Get out of my hamper."""
"France is a shitty country... Even the Nice parts are rundown."
"Your ex is posting passive-aggressive spiritual memes again"
"A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat."
"If you want to look mysterious I would suggest painting your cornea with a sharpie. Always works for me."
"What does Snoop Dogg eat? Beets by Dre."
"What do you tell a woman who has two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice."
"*feels comfortable* comfortable: *slaps hand away*"