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Joke of the Day

"Dad I'm gay *Dad rips newspaper* ""WHAT"" I like guys dad ""Oh thank god. I thought you were happy for a second"""

"Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors? So they can see the front-lines."

"Your chances in Vegas are better than you think. 1 out of 5 times you'll get an std."

"Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie? Because it was PG"

"A human cannonball for the circus retired after 35 years of service. When asked if the man would be replaced, the owner of the circus said, ""No, only because it's hard to find a man of that caliber."""

"There's a lady at work named Lillian Llewellyn who carries a briefcase and I like to imagine it falling open and spilling a bunch of L's"

"What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids."

"Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache... suddenly she's not your friend anymore?"

"Why did the guitarist get thrown in jail? He was caught fingering A Minor."

"What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? They both say insert Bill"