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Joke of the Day

"Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas."

"I like my girl like I like... Reddit Unexpectedly down on me!"

"The boy and the priest. A touching story."

"Atheism just made less sense to me once I saw my neighbor Karen's tits."

"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+esh"

"Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because may be 8 didn't have charging jack"

"UPDATE: They just released the time when Cecil the lion was shot. Tooth hurty"

"I used to supply filofaxes to the mafia I was involved in very organised crime"

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?"" ""A BETTER STRUCTURE FOR MEASUREMENT OF TIME THAT ISN'T AN ILLUSION CREATED BY MAN"" ""WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"" ... ""shit"""

"If you surround yourself with people who are full of drama, don't bitch if a shitstorm is always blowing through your life."