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Joke of the Day
"Went to the Optician the other day, guess whom I bumped into? Everyone."
Next Joke
"Nothing beats the last 30 seconds of a close basketball game. They should just make all games 30 seconds long."
"I would never let MY child act like that. -things my friends without kids say."
"Weddings r cool bc u can cry in public about other stuff as long as u look in the general direction of the bride + groom"
"What's pink, wrinkly, hairy, smells of pee, and hangs out you boxers? Either your mum, your wife or you."
"My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her ""you're eating turkey like everyone else""."
"Hillary Clinton... [DELETED]"
"Great Insults A letter from teacher to parent:Dear parent,Kamal doesn't smel nice in class.Please try to bathe him.Parent answer:Dear teacher,Kamal is not a rose.Don't smell him.Teach him."
"Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform."
"What does a Boko Haram terrorist become after getting his throat slit? Boko Halal."