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Joke of the Day

"What's the last thing a drummer says in a band? ""Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"""

"I think my girlfriend is breaking up with me for playing too much videogames.. She says its ""just cause"" but either way I think its a pretty silly thing to fallout 4.."

"Damn girl, is your dad in jail? Cuz if I was your dad, I'd be in jail."

"Trump & Hillary are on a boat. The boat sinks, who survives? The United States."

"Apparently Mr. Skeltal joined the band Imagine Dragons. I heard they were going back to their doots."

"Life without women would be a pain in the ass!"

"I will be in a bathroom stall later today to watch Trump's inauguration... ...it will forever be remembered as the day shit went down."

"Sexting gone wrong I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today. Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps."

"What do turtles and pedophiles have in common? They both get there before the hare/hair."

"i hate when... ...when people ask me where i see myself in 5 years. come on guys, i don't have 2020 vision."