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Joke of the Day

"KFC now offering the Top Kill sandwich! Bacon. Cheese. Mud. Sandwiched between two oily chicken slabs served on a plate of shame"

"Raising children takes a village, preferably one with many vineyards."

"It's nice that friends keep picking up my kids for play dates. It'd be even nicer if they'd stop bringing them back home."

"A shocking new report reveals Donald Trump likes to be peed on by members of his new administration He calls it a Goldman shower"

"Why shouldn't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything."

"When Dianna died, the British put up a memorial All France got was a slow down sign"

"I'm a married white male; my forefathers saw to it that I'm not allowed to be offended by anything."

"What's the difference between a tumblrite and a coprolite? Their age."

"It's 6 am and I've already referred to a patient as ""the one with the tig ol biddies""...wonder what time HR gets here"

"He's making a list, he's checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's Muslim or nice. Donald Trump is coming to town ! "