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Joke of the Day

"How come does Luke Skywalker does not have a girlfriend? He was looking for love in Alderaan places"

"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Amnesia. The librarian replies, ""fuck off, you'll forget to bring it back"" To which the man replies, ""bring what back?"""

"""More people are killed by toasters than sharks"". So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster, you're in big trouble."

"How did the tree get on to Reddit? It just logged on..."

"Last year I got so hammered on Good Friday I woke up in a cave three days later"

"This pumpkin spice toilet paper seems unnecessary, but I'll taste it nonetheless."

"PILLOW: Hey, your anniversary is today, go buy her some flowers ME: Wow, thank God for memory foam"

"Any size pizza can be a personal pizza if you're depressed enough."

"I went to a party with a group of pacifists the other night. It was pretty killer."

"What do you call a Mexican without a car... carlos"