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Joke of the Day

"""More people are killed by toasters than sharks"". So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster, you're in big trouble."

"Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once? I didn' fink fo"

"Growing up in Canada, Taco Bell commercials were surprisingly different. At the end of each ad, they sang: ""Make a run...for the border. And then the next border."""

"What's a Judge's favorite drink? Guil-tea!"

"How do you save a drowning black family? As a .jpg"

"After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves."

"What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe? Yo, duh."

"Why do Native Americans hate April showers? Because they bring Mayflowers"

"How does Moses get his tea ready? Hebrews"

"Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013. Stare at your phone like a normal person"