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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them"

"What's the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann? News of the elections is getting old."

"it's 2:36 am i'm hiding in my bathroom smokin bongs by myself ladies and gentlemen i didn't ask to be a winner , god just chose me to be one"

"[god making cheetahs] Let's just squish a giraffe and give it whiskers"

"What is a pedophile's first guitar lesson? How to finger A minor"

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Yeah, it runs in your jeans!"

"A guy walks into a bar ""Ow,"" he says."

"Husband says to his wife ""you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back!"" She says ""what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair."""

"Cerebral palsy It's the thinkin man's palsy"

"What goes dot dot dash squeak ? Mouse code !"