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Joke of the Day

"A good friend of mine drowned the other day We put a life jacket on his coffin, it's what he would have wanted."

"Yo mama so fat. . . I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas. Edit: TIL Reddit has very strong feelings about my mother."

"Why was jesus great at rock climbing? He could find foot and hand holes"

"What do you call a porno set in space. Apollo 13 inches"

"Q: What's the range of an accordion? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!"

"You deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger."

"Picture the perfect woman. Wrong. You're a guy. You're always wrong."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Its a trick question... Feminists cant change shit"

"The spork is the hermaphrodite of utensils."

"I hate it when I bite into an apple & then realize ""Whoops!"" it's a salmon..."