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Joke of the Day

"I probably shouldn't boast, but, no matter what city I'm in, the banner ads say the same three hot chicks are dying to meet me."

"Interviewer: congrats you got the security guard job Me: *already asleep on a folding chair* Interviewer: hang on u don't start til monday"

"How much storage do you need for a mouthful of dirt? A Terra Bite"

"Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store.... and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows."

"What is the bird synonymous with abstinence The Swallow"

"Ramadan Putting the slim in Muslim."

"A Scotsman walks into a bar.... There is usually an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman, but they're all still in France :("

"I asked a sexy chinese girl for her number, she replied sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight... I said wow, I must be in luck, until her friend grabbed me and said, she means 6663629"

"Why doesn't the GOP establishment want Trump as their nominee? They hate colored people."

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care."