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Joke of the Day

"If someone is bothering you with unnecessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad ""iPhone 5S for $1 only"""

"My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles Straight until you get them wet."

"They say there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow But all I found was a drunk midget with loose change."

"I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't."

"Why did the dog go into the church? The doors were open."

"2 goats were found to have dyslexia after turning up to a toga party."

"What did Olivia Newton-John say to her doctor? Lets get physical!"

"iTunes has got it all wrong. The hottest single of the year is me."

"7yo: I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU MOMMA SO I'M GOING TO BED EARLY Me: OH NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT"

"Where does a snowman keep his money? In the snowbank. I'll see myself out.."