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Joke of the Day

"Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond? He was taking a sheet."

"What do Donald Trump and his chromosomes have in common? There is one too many of them."

"People who put a shitload of bumper stickers on the back of their vehicles love to loudly refer to God as a ""she"" in public places."

"I saw a sausage fly by my window I must be going insane it was actually a bird. I think I've taken a Tern for the Wurst"

"What's the difference between a van and a minivan? A van picks up kids. A minivan picks up your kids"

"Why did the carpenter join the army? Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant"

"I'll stab someone if they hurt my kids. Or touch my nachos."

"I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake."

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. It's seven."

"Facebook has become the girlfriend you no longer like but are scared to dump"