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Joke of the Day

"Birth Control? Don't kid yourself."

"Going to a party tonight, but keeping it mellow. One or two glasses of cocaine and that's it."

"What did the little girl with no arms, no legs, blind, deaf and mute get for Christmas? NSFW Cancer"

"Went to a talk at the pencil factory they made a series of excellent points"

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"Young man, you promised you will bring my daughter back by 11 pm. First, it's 3 am and second, this is not my daughter."

"Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite ...because all the others could not be positively identified."

"A poltergeist was moving furniture around the house, and I really love what he's done with the place."

"I bought a pig for $100 and named him Moo-Ham-Head, I then sold him for $150. Does that make him a profit?"

"""President Trump, California is revolting!"" ""Yeah, and they're also threatening to secede."""