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Joke of the Day
"[Black Humour] What u call a black woman with 7 abortions? Crimefighter"
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"There there password. I don't think you're weak."
"Why are all ants British? Because they colonize."
"UR MOMA IS SO HAIRY THAT HARRY POTTER GOT JEALOUS."
"this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this"
"When police tell you to put your hands up and stop running you can still legally flee with a rapid series of cartwheels."
"Me: OK bedtime Mind: Hey let's think about stuff Me: No, sleep Mind: OK here are some horrible memories you want to forget Me: FUUUUUUUCK"
"Did you guys here about what was going on at Mount Rushmore before the carvings? Man, that shit was unpresidented."
"HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable ""hold on I'm still googling exacerbate"""
"What's the difference between strange jizz and you? Your mother doesn't love you."