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Joke of the Day

"Why did yo girl cross the road? (Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he saw some chicks."

"I went for a job interview today... The interviewer said to me, What would you say your greatest weakness is? I said, I think Id have to say my listening skills are my greatest strength."

"GUY: are u doing the mannequin challenge? ME: [standing perfectly still w/ awkward facial expression] no this is just how I am around people"

"Donal Trump supporters have become exactly what they hate: A minority"

"""I'll have a cheeseburger with a large coke,"" The blonde girl requested. ""Excuse me miss, this is a library."" ^^""I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke,"" she whispered."

"I hate it when I'm watching porn and suddenly there's a man's butthole right in my face. And I'm like ""go away, dad. I'm watching porn."""

"""Keep pumping until something happens."" -Home Depot guy teaching me to prime the snow blower says the first thing I've understood."

"Contrary to common belief, only 5.7 million Jews were killed during the Holocuast, for you see... the Nazis were known for rounding them up."

"Last night,my friend changed all my contacts in my phone.I've been texted by Batman Donatello,Hermione Granger.I have no idea who they are."

"When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games? The Wii hours of the morning."