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Joke of the Day

"<gets pulled over> Officer- What's making all that noise in your trunk? Me- My feelings. I'm trying to dispose of them properly."

"Never tell a woman you're infatuated with her. All she'll hear is ""fat""."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two pigs playing in the mud"

"What do you call am alligator in a vest? An illogical situation imagined by a child."

"When is being an ""Alpha"" not a good thing in the dating world? When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well."

"Why did Johnny drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck!"

"What time do Germans leave their dentist appointments? 2:39"

"Did you guys hear the joke about the stunt man's flame? It was retarded"

"Are you waiting for my comeback? You can scrape it off your mom's teeth"

"I'm gaining weight for my role as ""'Before' picture"""