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Joke of the Day

"The last time I had sex, there was a dinosaur in the cave with us."

"My girlfriend went to Florida She blew his whistle; It went down for real."

"My wife isn't much of a wrestler But man you should see her box."

"I've decided to be outraged about straws too flimsy to punch through their own wrappers. Time to blog."

"Ha ha! OH, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! ""dude, are you gonna do this every time you rearrange the furniture"""

"I don't usually pick up hitchhikers but this poor guy looks like he's running late to hockey practice. He already has his mask on."

"Just slammed 12 wheatgrass shots now everyone at Whole Foods is trying to take my keys"

"""I've been a bad girl,"" she said. ""I need to be punished."" So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"5: Can you cut off the skin? Me: What? 5: *holds up sandwich* the skin M: The crust? 5: yeah M: No, and you sound like a serial killer."

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up"