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Joke of the Day
"""Give me the best quality TV commercial I can get for $57!"" -Every attorney apparently"
Next Joke
"My son: ""Dad what's a douche bag?"" Me: see that guy sitting with his friends wearing a Bluetooth?...."
"Men and hookers Why do men always pick the hooker that costs tens of thousands of dollars over the far sexier hooker which costs two dollars? Because prostitution is looked down upon."
"What do you call a blind dinosaur? A do-you-think-he-saurus?"
"What's the difference between a religion and a cult? A religion drinks wine and a cult drinks Kool-Aid."
"Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river? Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed?"
"PERSONAL TRAINER: How's your nutrition? ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse."
"So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone? You skip them both."
"Women Q: What do you call a woman without an @sshole? A: Divorced"
"Things will never get better until you make the conscious decision to lower your standards."