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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that there are 71.9 acres of nipple tissue in the U.S.?"

"I saw my ex getting jumped at a party 3 people started beating her up, so I decided to help out...that bitch didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us."

"What's worse than beating a dead horse? Shooting a live gorilla"

"Spider: Why don't you like us? Most us are harmless and we kill all the bugs in your house? We just want to help Humans: EW EW EW EW OMG"

"You know it's not believable when six people rob a bank in a movie if you've ever tried to organize a dinner for six people."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh Prince"

"Why did the cannibal only eat coma patients? The doctor said he needed more vegetables in his diet."

"How did the swordsman annoy r/jokes? He feinted. (Sorry)"

"Running into someone from high school that got fat is better than Christmas."

"My hooker friend finally got a toilet installed at her brothel. Now she can poop where she pleases."