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Joke of the Day

"My pet dog named Doug ran away. Now everybody calls me Doug-less. :("

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"If you cum down a girls throat, would it be a download?"
"What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk? A milk dud!"
"I don't care what you say about vacuum cleaners They still suck Just like this joke"
"I tried killing a spider with glitter body spray. Now it won't stop stripping & I have to call it Cinnamon."
"If you're French when you're outside and Dutch in the hallway, what are you when you're in the bathroom? [X-Post r/dadjokes] European. My dad said this one earlier today."
"No, please don't feel like you need to use your turn signal. I understand how difficult it can be to slightly move one finger."
"I Opened A Shelter Called ""Tempura House"" It's for lightly battered women."
"The most useful lesson I learned from my cat is if somebody puts clothing on you, just freeze and flop over on your side."
"How do astronauts say they're sorry? They apollo-gize."