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Joke of the Day

"how do I know I'm old? I can hear teens having a good time and I'm mad about it"

"How do you make a redditor impatient? loading..."

"Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club. Teen: Of course not dad! Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house."

"If there was award for laziness... . I would send someone else to get it."

"Did you hear about the Native American chief who drank 50 gallons of Earl Grey? He was found dead in the morning, drowned in his tee-pee."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you."

"What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called? A Sith."

"If we drown in this upcoming hurricane, would that make us... ...the Joaquin Dead?"

"Lesbian Pick Up Line ""Hey girl, you wanna go swimming? We can do the scissor kick."""

"So a redditor walked into a bar... Just kidding, they just sit on reddit and read these lame jokes."