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Joke of the Day

"I hear Bernie has his own personal knives and forks... They're called cucklery"

"Carving a boob into a tree would be pretty cool, Wooden tit?"

"Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race."

"Three guys walk into a bar. They pretend to hear each other for two hours and then go home"

"Why should you never trust a whale with your secrets? They're huge blubbermouths."

"People are always impressed to hear that I graduated from Harvard at 16, but you can do anything you set your mind to if you just lie."

"How are music and candy similar? We throw away the rappers."

"If I have 5 apples and I give you 2 of them, just take the other 3 cause I'm going out for tacos"

"I was invited to a party... The dress code said ""black tie only"". But when I got there, I noticed other people had worn shirts and trousers too"

"what does the Jewish midwife say to the Non-Jewish woman who just gave birth? It's a Goy !"