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Joke of the Day

"What is a lesbians favorite type of woodworking joint? Tongue and groove"

"How much semen does a gay guy have? A butt load."

"Advertisers think we're like ""Oh a pop-up ad is in the way of the thing I actually want to watch? I should purchase whatever it's selling!"""

"Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes."

"Pluto I got good news! You are still not a planet but you are a star now kid!"

"Golf and NASCAR are the only sports on television today. Looks like the opposite ends of the asshole spectrum will be happy."

"You know the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker can wash their crack and sell it again"

"Schooner or later, sailors... ...engage in rudder nonsense."

"Step 1) Ask mom to come meet your girlfriend. Step 2) Text ""Medusa's excited to meet you."" Step 3) Place statue of yourself on your lawn."

"Him: She's always doing magic tricks Therapist: Is that true? Me: Check your pocket. [he pulls out a piece of paper with 'NO' written on it]"