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Joke of the Day

"What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common? They both love Ten D's"

"My girlfriend is like the square root of 2. Irrational."

"When your wife says ""It's up to you"", it's not."

"Pepsi just bought out Nike. Nike's new slogan will be, ""Just Dew It""."

"1 in every 5 dolphins is a method actor."

"I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a ""ghost"" and end up as a ""drunk ghost that needs a ride home."""

"What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common? Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time."

"Q: Did you hear about the guy that threw away a duck? A: He got down in the dumps."

"Yo mamma is so fat... That she literally ate my dick."

"What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!"