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Joke of the Day

"Fifth Third Bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank."

"10 things you didn't know you could do with a selfie stick. 1. *Use selfie stick to stuff rags in your exhaust pipe* 2.*Use selfie stick to beat ppl who have selfie sticks* 3"

"What is every Redditor's blood type? Edit: TypO"

"What do you call a white man in a ghetto? An ambulance."

"What's the gummy stuff between sharks teeth? Slow swimmers."

"Are You a Gorilla Exhibit? Because I want to drop a baby in you."

"What's the difference between Greece and a good software application? Greece doesn't have default settings!"

"How many nice guys does it take to screw a lightbulb? 0 cause they'll compliment it then get pissed off when it won't screw"

"Which of our meaty friends are into astrology? Those that are born under the sign of the Ham!"

"What's ten inches long, has a bright purple tip, and made my wife cry when I made her eat it after jamming it up her ass? Her stillbirth."