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Joke of the Day

"What country does every one called Andy come from? Peru, because it's the home of the Andes!"

"[at the mall] ""Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"" ""Of course."" [leans in to mic] ""Goodbye you little shit."""

"The problem with kissing a perfect 10 Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips."

"Many burn victims are not very attractive, But all of them used to be extremely hot at some point in the past."

"Sockets What did one socket say to the other? Stay grounded."

"If women ruled the world do you think missiles would be shaped differently?"

"Why can't cops eat bacon? Because that would be cannibalism"

"Apparantly there is a term for Baywatch actors in their midlife crisis. It's called the Hoff-time show."

"I'm confused, if all these rappers really are the genuine article like they claim, then who are all these phonies they keep talking about?"

"My friend has mexican car insurance. It's called get out and run."