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Joke of the Day

"I just hope people who say ""Jesus is my co-pilot"" realize he's a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator."

"i put grape soda in my mini super soaker and i'm squirting it into my mouth. this is how you turn a monday, into a funday."

"""Those who can't do, teach..."" And those who can't teach... [teach gym.](/spoiler)"

"A VIEW DO ASIAN PEOPLE VIEW THE WORLD IN LETTERBOX EDITION?"

"What's the difference between a prostitute with irritable bowel syndrome and an epileptic oyster? You have to shuck the oyster between fits."

"People love making jokes about camouflage but I just don't see the humor."

"A man tells his wife...... Husband: Hey, you and I should make a sex tape! For the future! Wife: Ehhhhh........ It'd be more like a vine."

"So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I'm on Facebook, I don't have money or a life."

"I'll pronounce vegan ""veegan"", when vegetables become ""veegetables""."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? When she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat."