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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a prostitute with irritable bowel syndrome and an epileptic oyster? You have to shuck the oyster between fits."

"Where do men have the most curly hair? In Africa"

"Yo mamma's so fat... When she walks down the street, people start telling Han Solo he better get out of here"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The rooster did."

"Don't exercise so you can live longer. Exercise so when you're about to die you can think, ""at least I don't have to exercise anymore""."

"My girlfriend is like root(-1) She's the one, but does not exist."

"Will the new Apple car have windows? No. And it won't have a jack either."

"Torn this election season. I think it would be awesome to have the first woman president. But I'm also curious about the apocalypse."

"A kid locked the boys bathroom. Janitor tells him ""That was a dick move there son"". The Principal tells him ""Urine a lot of trouble son"" His friends are pissed at him"

"I order so much Chinese food the delivery guy must think I'm a middle aged divorced homicide detective in an 80s movie."