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Joke of the Day

"Why does America have so many boasting Republicans? Because it needs some bragging rights."

"Sorry I put a Gryffindor scarf on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and called him Hermione Manger."

"Just overheard someone say, ""I wish I had a Kindle that never ran out of batteries."" You know. Like a book."

"Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks."

"Fight fire with water. Idiots."

"Gravity falls fans are going to hate me for this... My ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!"

"A firm handshake and a kiss on the neck is how I like to close my job interviews. Nailed it!"

"Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast? Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun."

"What kind of yogurt does a skeleton eat? Actibia."

"When I broke my back the doctor said I had to start sitting down to pee... Because I'm not allowed to lift anything over 25 pounds."