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Joke of the Day

"I know a lesbian couple who used to breed fighting roosters they were the only lesbian couple in the world who raised cocks"

"FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? A: Bison"

"I came back from war to find out that I had missed the birth of my wife's second child. Turns out, I also missed the conception."

"Six and seven just had a child. Five says ""You lucky devil, you."""

"So there's this guy that does nothing but masturbate and watch Netflix all day... Oh wait... That's me."

"Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious"

"INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in? ME: What do you mean ""if"" Harry Potter was real?"

"Have you heard about the guy who didn't want to walk the plank? He wasn't on board with it."

"I'm a giver. *gives you a hard time*"

"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence *edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*"