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Joke of the Day

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheel chair."

"Wanna know why I prefer sponge cakes to Jesus? Because sponge cake doesn't take 3 days to rise."

"Last weekend I prevented a rape. It didn't take much. You can do it too. [xpost /r/TwoXChromosomes] I kept it in my pants."

"Don't drop the soap in prison because someone might steal your soap and then you will be ""the dirty guy"" and no one will have sex with you"

"What is the difference between a Greek spearman and a pale beer? One is hoplite, and the other a light hops."

"When Beyonce is on her period... ...does Jay Z have 100 problems?"

"Did you hear about the Texas hipster whose bicycle was broken? He was fixin' to get his fixie fixed."

"Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike? Because it might be your bike."

"What do you call an army of corn? The Musket - ears"

"What did the ghost say when he looked in the beehive? Boo-bees!"