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Joke of the Day

"If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?"

"When I was at the diner tonight my waitress had a black eye. When I ordered I ordered real slow because apparently she don't listen so good."

"I saw in the newspaper that my town was searching for a pedophile. I called in thinking I could help but it turns out that it wasn't actually a job opening."

"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!"

"I got a secret! I got a secret! Whiskey: Not anymore."

"I want to be a dog and have someone feed me treats for sitting down."

"The worst Jewish joke ever... An old Jewish guy comes up to and old Jewish lady and says... ""So what's your number?""..."

"What do you do if can't change a lightbulb? Ya know what? Just screw it."

"what did the lactose intolerant man say after eating an ice cream cone? please excuse my dairy air"

"How do you know the toothbrush was made in France? Anywhere else it would've been the ""teethbrush"""