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Joke of the Day

"Two nuns are having a bath one turns to the other and asks ""Where's the soap?"" ""Yes, it does."" she replies."

"When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee That's a moray."

"An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all."

"I'm not a lucky man I once gambled on a couch and won a baby"

"As it turns out, ""harder"" is a horrible safe word."

"How do mathematicians become engineers? You just gotta apply yourself."

"Thanks for telling me your astrological sign, cause now I know a lot about your personality. Like you are a gullible dummy."

"Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career. At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it."

"[soldier dying in my arms] ""You take this & you give it to my wife."" ""No [pushes watch back to soldier] she lives really far away from me."""

"What did the blue priest say to the red peasant? Wolololo Wolololo!"