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Joke of the Day

"Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires."

"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"

"When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always ""I don't believe you."""

"It's like my uncle always said: ""The day I can't do my job drunk..."" ""...is the day I hand in my badge and gun."""

"Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long."

"When someone says ""be honest"" what they really mean is: lie to me, but be as convincing as possible."

"Well, it's getting to that time of year when my wife gets drunk and gives her annual blow job. I hope it's me this year!"

"Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had no body to go with !"

"Can anyone recommend a good website where people I knew in high school post pics of their meals?"

"I was trying to have sex with my wife on Thanksgiving But she was too busy making dinner, Turkey shot down my jet"