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Joke of the Day

"Teenagers are overweight because... ...they aren't getting in enough physical activity. Damn consent laws..."

"Regarding today's semi-final: What is the difference between Brazil and a brassiere? One is full of boobs, while the other is a piece of clothing."

"I once tried to overdose on Viagra. It was the hardest time of my life.."

"""The car that was driving slow in front of me turned, I better drive fast now so the cars behind me don't think It was my fault."" Everyone"

"Honey.... Where are my paaannts.??"

"girl are u a hyperlink in an email from my grandma, because I think u gave me a serious virus"

"Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles! Me: Which ones? Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble"

"I took your girlfriend out for some Chipotle last week...... guacamole wasn't the only thing she wanted extra on the side."

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from ""Taken"" today.. ""I will find you, and I will kill you."" My niece didn't want to play hide and seek anymore."

"I just burped and fogged my glasses up. Line forms to the left ladies."