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Joke of the Day
"Why do people like bananas? Because they have appeal!"
Next Joke
"Crazy how people more successful than me are lucky and people less successful than me haven't worked as hard"
"Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian? Cuz they got tired of Stalin."
"Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder"
"""You should go with the black one"" I whispered from inside the clothes rack as she dropped both shirts and ran. FINE, GO WITH THE WHITE ONE"
"Dear England, Now you know what it feels like when you're out of Europe against your will. Scotland."
"This is an emergency! *Begs to borrow strangers phone *starts scrolling through pics"
"I just bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"
"My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are But I laugh more."
"I cry at the end of sandwiches."