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Joke of the Day

"Why engineers are boring"

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"The world is secretly run by old men playing chess in the park"
"[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very"
"Pro tip: No matter how much you hate wrapping, never ask your wife to wrap her own Christmas presents."
"Life is ironic. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without them."
"I was going to say a gay joke... butt fuck it."
"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"
"Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli? He was pulled under by a strong currant"
"I went to a nice Cuban restaurant last night, I say restaurant but it was more of a Castro pub."
"Why do rednecks love Halloween? (NSFW) Because they love to pump kin."