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Joke of the Day

"What did my grandfather say before he kicked the bucket? ""I wonder how far I can kick this bucket"" Ba dum tsssh"

"Rihanna's restraining order against Chris Brown says he cannot ""harass or annoy"" her. I want one of those against everyone ever."

"How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink"

"""Dad, could you lend me your chair? I'm fixing the table."" ""Sorry, son. I'm not feeling particularly chairitable today."""

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the mouth."

"When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle."

"I don't care if you're a dog person or a cat person, I generally don't date anyone with a tail."

"Dating tip: Girls love mysterious guys. For example, tell her ""Im a lawyer.Or AM I?"" then hum the Twilight Zone theme and turn into an eagle"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bibi ! Bibi who ? Bibi Bibi Bunting ... !"