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Joke of the Day

"Do you want a bag? A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. ""Do you want a bag?"" the cashier asks. ""No,"" the guy says, ""she's not that ugly."""

"What's the difference between a burger and a burglar? Cooking times."

"What kind of bees do female ghosts have to deal with? Dead ones, you guys. Dead ones."

"As a CBT enthusiast I asked to see a dominatrix but she said she was too busy She put me on the grating list"

"What's in a name? Mainly, letters that make sounds."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don't come to work :("

"Saw an ad for a mirror. It said ""Never used"". How, then, did they know it was a mirror?"

"Why couldn't the lake birds get along? Because they were SWAN enemies."

"My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think."

"[15 years ago] Mom: Use protection. I'm too young to be a nana [Now] M: I'll pay for the Russian mail order bride. I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!"