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Joke of the Day

"On this day in history: people related to you whose names you do not know performed actions that were never recorded."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? you: R? One might think it's the R, but really, it's the C."

"Why did the chicken run out into traffic? To get to the other side."

"How do you get down from an Elephant? You don't get down from an elephant, you get down from a duck!"

"Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? A: To make up for a bad summer."

"Something I hate When people older than 30 have sex with 18 year olds. It's like they want to be pedophiles but aren't ready to commit."

"""Wow this pizza is amazing"" Yes, well it's our specialty dough. We soak it in pickle juice. Dill pickle juice actually. It's a dilldough"

"Little boy: ""daddy, I want to be a Men's Rights Activist when I grow up"" Dad: son, don't grow up to be an irritating wuss"

"And if I die before I wake I pray a virus my phone to take."

"What do you call a plant that doesn't move? A tree."