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Joke of the Day

"""ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!"" I scream to my dogs as they all watch me trip, run into the coffee table and spill my coffee all over myself."

"What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers? Russell."

"I tried to catch the essence of American football It's like you got a pretty big can of cold beer and on the other side of field your best buddy dying from hangover"

"I started a business selling landmines that resemble prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof."

"What two things do prostitutes make? Hormones and hormones"

"They say if you love something you should let it go, but I don't think this pastrami sandwich will come back to me, so I'm just eating it."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Halfway"

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands. I love that joke, it never grows old."

"Alrighty Kids always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"Did you know half your penis is inside you? If that's true, I'm all the way up to three inches."