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Joke of the Day

"Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases? because they're inbred"

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"How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas? He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!"
"What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door? If you let the dog in, it will shut up."
"what's th difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? the refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."
"One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse."
"What is a Fecalpheliac's favorite time of day? Ate Turdy"
"Teacher: Does anyone have questions? Me: If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? T: Holy Shit"
"The police didn't believe me when I told them I found a flying carpet... They called the whole thing fabricated."
"How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."
"Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!"