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Joke of the Day

"Rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year."

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"SHE has the mouth of a sailor... ...that recently retired & started a new career as a trucker."
"My bathroom smells like somebody just took a shit when I walked out of it."
"How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? WANNA RIDE BIKES??"
"Relationships are a lot like algebra.. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"
"My wife and I only smoke after sex; I've had the same pack since 2003. She's up to three packs a day. Rodney Dangerfield"
"""Can I have a pound of onions please."" ""Sorry sir, it's kilos these days."" ""oh, ok, can I have a pound of kilos please."""
"Fred Willard got arrested for jerking off in a porn theater. Well, at least he can honestly say his newest release is in theaters now!"
"What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt"
"What do you call the first migrant off the boat? Amhere What do you call the second migrant off the boat? Amhere Azwel What do you call the third migrant off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim"